From Henri Nouwen

Jesus' Self-Portrait

Jesus says: "Blessed are the poor, the gentle, those who mourn, those who hunger and thirst for uprightness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted in the cause of uprightness" (Matthew 5:3-10). These words offer us a self-portrait of Jesus. Jesus is the Blessed One. And the face of the Blessed One shows poverty, gentleness, grief, hunger, and thirst for uprightness, mercy, purity of heart, a desire to make peace, and the signs of persecution.

The whole message of the Gospel is this: Become like Jesus. We have his self-portrait. When we keep that in front of our eyes, we will soon learn what it means to follow Jesus and become like him.

Reflections at 37

A very good friend of mine just turned 37, and he took a moment to look at where he's been and what he's learned. He shared that with me, and I found his observations good enough to in turn share with you all (with his permission, of course). So, for better or for worse, here are his "Reflections at 37."

OK. So, now that I’m pushing 40 here, I decided it was time to reflect on what I’ve learned over the course of my life. Ain’t much really. Just a few simple things, nothing complicated. No psycho-analysis bullshit. Just a few lessons I’ve gleaned:

* There are only 3 great rock-n-roll bands: The Beatles, Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones. In that order. All the others, and there were\are some good ones, fall somewhere after those

* There is only one, number one truly greatest of all time rock-n-roll song: Imagine – by John Lennon. That’s “by John Lennon” as in written by John Lennon, arranged by John Lennon, played by John Lennon and sang by John Lennon.

*Every rock-n-roll band, or performer, is imitating (in part or in whole) one of the following groups\individuals:
The Beatles
Led Zeppelin
The Rolling Stones
The Beach Boys
Bob Dylan
U2
Or, a host of early bluesmen

…..except for hip-hop or rap, which, doesn’t count anywho

* Every (recent) Country group of performer is imitating (in part or in whole) one of the following groups:
Any 80’s era bubblegum pop singer

* You can count on one hand the number of truly great friends you have. The rest, just want your time, your money or to rip the last album you bought.

* Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and nothing is ever as good as it seems

* Most everything you pay to have someone do, you can do yourself. Look at ‘em…if they can learn how to do it, so can you.

* Money is not important. A job or career is not important. It’s necessary, but not important. I’ve known many people that were less fortunate that were still able to love, live and be happy.

* Everything you have is expendable. Everything, period. The only thing you have that’s worth fighting to keep and to hang on to is your family and those truly great friends mentioned above.

* NASCAR makes absolutely no damn sense

* …………I tried, and NASCAR still makes no damn sense

* Sacrificing for your kids pays off. Including sacrificing career and money. They will thank you for it in the end.

* Don’t Google “How to decorate a Christmas Tree” when your wife is not home.

* We live in a truly great country, and neither the radical right nor the radical left is responsible for that.

* There is no amount of money that will compensate for happiness

* The hippies were right.

* Sun beats snow, every time.

* Your legacy is….your children.

* Egotistical people who take themselves too seriously suck.


Took 37 years for that list.

Life in These Days

In reading an article on relevantmagazine.com that mentioned an experimental journal that passed from person to person, an idea started coming together. On Sunday, that idea was launched.

When I was asked recently about a vision for my church, I responded by saying that I really feel we -- each person who calls Tulip Street 'home' -- need to answer the question, "What does the gospel mean to me?" In answering that question, we can each then bring our piece of the bigger picture into focus. The vision of Tulip Street lies in bringing the Kingdom of Jesus to bear on the lives of those in our community now. How we go about doing that will involve us living out our definitions of the gospel message. From each of these pieces, a mosaic will be formed that will be both beautiful and unique to our church.

How the idea from the article kicks in to this deal is this -- I gave a friend of mine a simple journal with a short word of instruction. He is free to let it all hang out -- joys/rants/scripture/pictures/drawings/quotes/lyrics -- anything goes. When he is finished with his entry, he is to pass it on to any other church member that he is led to. From this traveling journal, I hope to get a sense of what life in these days is like for those I do church with. Ultimately, these journal entries can shape our upcoming messages, and beyond that, help us define our role as individuals and as a body in the Kingdom.

When the last page of the journal is filled, I left a short note to return the journal to me. From there, I hope to post the entries on a blog for our church -- and you all if you're interested -- to share. I'll keep you posted!

Tired Sadness

If by sheer chance you’re still checking this blog for a post, you know it’s been awhile – a looooooong while – since I’ve shared anything.

This absence of writing can mean several things, some of which are:

* I’m really busy. I mean, who isn’t? Right? The things that are consuming my time aren’t “bad” things, yet they all compete for the same 24 hours in each day.
* I have spent much time wrestling with God about life and what I am learning about mine in relationship to Him. I think earlier in my walk with Jesus, I thought there would be this place, this level, where we nail down Jesus and figure this gig out. After 15 years of following, I can safely say that I’ve found no such plane, and I doubt that one exists this side of heaven. Ahhh, the naiveté of youth.
* There are in my life certain things that I allow to take my time that have basically zero redemptive value. Namely, XBOX. There. I said it. Some say that’s the first step to recognizing you have a problem. I suspect my wife would agree. :)

I’ve recently finished Shane Claiborne’s book The Irresistible Revolution. Wow! So very much of his words rang true, yet I still find myself paralyzed. It’s almost as if I was reading/hearing a foreign language that I maybe knew as a baby. It all sounded right and beautiful, but even though I can almost touch the definitions Claiborne gives to his words, I struggle mightily to give meaning to them in my life.

I’m very much living in a state of sadness these days. While admittedly, some of this is generated by a general sense of ineffectiveness in several areas of my life (you fill in the blank!), the greatest disappointment in my life is how little impact I am making in the Kingdom. I mean, let’s be honest – how am I making anyone’s life – other than my own or my family’s (and that is debatable) – any different or better? Really?

I have to honestly say that following Jesus hasn’t:

* Made me spend my money any differently. By this, I am thinking beyond the traditional tithe. How about Fair Trade? How about natural resource management? How about buying clothes that were made in sweat shops? Do I care at all about these things, or am I just more concerned in making my buck stretch farther? I deeply suspect that the American Dream has taken deep root in my life and economic value system, and that would be a mighty monster to slay.
* Pushed me to identify with any of the marginalized of my community. There is a difference between sending money to Feed the Children and taking food to share with a family in Mitchell that have faces and names and empty bellies. Why do I so often choose to bask in the warm feeling of “helping” that tossing money at a problem sometimes yields, instead of becoming involved in someone’s life? How can my closet be full while other’s are empty, and all I can say is that “I don’t have anything to wear!” How can I feel good about my kids getting good grades when other kids in town don’t have parents who are willing or able to help them with homework, and they are sinking into the bottom levels of the system?

On and on and on. Given the pace of my life, when do I be about my Father’s business? When I look at what occupies my days, my first thought is “conforming” and sadly not “transforming.” The things I’m “doing” aren’t bad things! God calls us to work. I can be a good role model to the junior high kids on the track team. My church needs people to step up and share the Message of Jesus in meaningful, relevant ways. So how do I go from “doing” to “being?” And at what point does “being” transform into Kingdom action?

As Jimmy Buffett says so well, I continue to be one “looking for answers to questions that bother me so.” I can’t help thinking that this tired, sad soul of mine isn’t what Jesus had in mind when He came bringing “more and better life than I ever dreamed of.” As these days wear on, about the only prayer that I can voice is this:

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

Amen.

Community

I was at a party with some friends a few weeks ago, and we were listening to a classic rock station when “Lonely is the Night” came on, by Billy Squier. These days, I laugh when I hear that song, because of the obvious, though almost circular logic of one of the verses, which says “lonely is the night, when you find yourself alone.” Uh, hello Mr. Obvious, long time listener, first time caller. Really? Thanks for clearing that up.

I mention the whole deal about that song because loneliness is something I’ve been feeling lately. Doesn’t it seem strange that I had these thoughts – of Billy Squier and loneliness – while at a party? What’s more interesting to me is that I swing between being almost depressed by this feeling, and then in the next breath, experiencing a sense of freedom that is hard to explain.

In nearly all of the stuff I’ve been reading this past summer, “community” is a buzzword. And not community in terms of “I live at this address in my community” but rather community in the sense of that circle of folk that you “do” life with, that group of people who you allow to know you honestly and who you know honestly without condemnation, and who you can count on and be counted on by. My loneliness has been freeing in that I seem to be seeing people – all people – in a different way. I very much applaud the words of Thomas Merton, who said that

“Yesterday, in Louisville, at the corner of 4th and Walnut, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I loved all these people, that they were mine and I theirs, that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers. It was like waking from a dream of separateness, of spurious self-isolation in a special world, the world of renunciation and supposed holiness. The whole illusion of a separate holy existence is a dream. Not that I question the reality of my vocation, or of my monastic life: but the conception of "separation from the world" that we have in the monastery too easily presents itself as a complete illusion . . . I have the immense joy of being man, a member of a race in which God Himself became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now I realize what we all are. And if only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.”

I applaud Merton because, as a Trappist monk, he lived a life of silence, and carried that choice even further by living away from the Monastery in his own private hermitage. For him, life was created to be a solitary, lonely existence. And yet, in the midst of that loneliness, on a trip to Louisville, he discovered that we are never truly alone, and that we are tied to each other simply because we were each created by God, whether we choose to admit that or not.

I am learning to appreciate some of what Merton experienced, albeit on a small level. In the past, it’s been very easy for me to poke fun at people different than me (the sport itself I call “mocking” and some of you have played with me!). Now, instead of laughing at a NASCAR jacket, I sometimes (no, not all the times – I’ve still got room to grow!) see the person in it as a person that Jesus valued enough that He would give His life away for them. They, in effect, begin to “shine like the sun” for me. That realization is the soil in which community can grow. And in community, I am not lonely.

There is a freedom in learning to value and, on some level, learning to love other people. Experiencing this freedom has been a good thing for me. And yet, as good and rich as the sense of freedom I’ve experienced has been, I’ve also been acutely aware that I am changing. The changes make me hard to understand, I think. My circle of friends – or “homeys” as Jacob would say – seems to be shrinking. In church, I am seen as uninvolved because I won’t join in the busy-ness of their calendar. 10 years ago, my sense of worth was largely derived from how busy I was at church, and because I was there so much, I spent the majority of time with those church folk. Now, because of a change in churches and, more importantly, an evolving theology and subsequent worldview, I don’t seem to “fit” with Joe ChurchGuy. But, interestingly to me, the non-ChurchGuy isn’t someone I hang much with either, as they don’t understand how I am learning to interpret and live-out Jesus’ Kingdom message. My ideals are changing both politically and socio-economically, and in the process of reforming, I am not quite sure how best to communicate “whassup” with me these days, so I often sadly take the safe route of avoidance and silence. I realize that I must live out these changes to become fully engaged in the difference that Jesus is making in the world, and often wonder if all of these confusing thoughts are part of becoming who I was meant to be in Jesus. To quote Five for Fighting, “I don’t know where I’m going yet, but I sure am getting there.”

So these are the days of my life. A pendulum swinging between the freedom that comes from learning to love people I previously thought unlovable on one hand, to a real sense of loneliness that comes from being misunderstood by a lot of folks, all while having no desire to hang out with people who don’t seem to “get” Jesus in the way I think they should.

I began a new paragraph to allow the arrogance of that last sentence to hang in the air a minute. I realize how that sounds, believe me. That in itself is a huge part of my problem. Donald Miller, of Blue Like Jazz fame, wrote this in his book Searching for God Knows What: “Shouldn’t I be grateful that God showed this stuff (the beautiful truths of Jesus) to me rather than connecting the theology to my identity and then using it to distinguish myself from ‘inferiors’ who haven’t figured it out? (p. 199)

Miller nails me with his self-commentary. Please pray for me, that I can learn to humbly live out the Kingdom message of Jesus in a way that speaks of beauty, truth, justice, mercy, compassion – a way that speaks of love – while being a person that knows friendship – real friendship – deep lasting friendship doused in the Holy Spirit. Then, and only then, will I be one who knows where his steps take him, and will joyfully chose to walk along the Way.

Psalm 133:1

A few weeks ago, our church walked through a 24 hour day of prayer together, in preparation for the 40 Days of Community campaign. My son Jacob and I signed up for a 1 hour slot, where we met Jesus in the Tulip Street Christian Church prayer room.

Initially, Jacob questioned the whole deal, asking, “How are we going to pray for an HOUR?” It was then that I realized that I have trained my kids to see prayer as that 20 second blurb that we say before we devour our food, and maybe a few seconds more if someone is really sick or something. So while I am looking for opportunities to teach my kids a deeper understanding of prayer, I still had to show Jacob how we could share with Jesus for the remaining 59 minutes and 40 seconds.

Before we went to the prayer room, I printed out Psalm 133:1, a verse that speaks of unity in the Body and what that looks like. The passage reads:

“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!”

To hear a fresh word from Jesus on how this verse can apply to life in community at Tulip Street, and speak specifically to us in that hour, we practiced a form of meditation known as The Jeweler’s Technique. In short, this practice imagines a passage of Scripture to be a diamond that is held in the Jeweler’s hand, and as it is rotated, the light shines off of each face of the diamond differently, accenting the clarity and cut on each face of the diamond. For us, that meant holding up Psalm 133:1, and looking at each word in the verse, and asking what that word adds to the passage – what do you think of when you consider this particular word? At that point, we wrote down our thoughts on each individual word, then after working through the entire verse, we recombined our thoughts on each separate word into a paragraph that paraphrased for us what Jesus was trying to teach us in that moment in the words of the Psalmist. (If this sounds confusing, it’s really not! Email me if you would like a guide to practice this technique yourself.)

In this post, I wanted to share the paraphrase that Jacob penned. Hearing him read this message from Jesus, to him and our church, using the words of a Psalm written maybe as long ago as 1000 B.C. was a stunning experience for me. It’s my hope that it speaks to your heart as well. Hear the word of the Lord through the pen of an 11 year old . . .

“Open our eyes to all that’s soothing and nice. Let the Kingdom Life equal a true beginning for this Band of Brothers by living life to the fullest as one, moving each other towards the one true goal – Heaven!” ~ Psalm 133:1 (JC’s Version)

The Word of God, for the People of God, Thanks Be to God. AMEN.

Force of Nature

I’m writing from Spring Mill State Park this morning. It’s sweatshirt weather, and a fire has felt good – for me, it’s the best time of year. My children, Jacob and Michaela have friends all around. The Hardman boys, Graham and Samuel, Brennan Fults, Tyler Blackburn and Mica Sloan all are running around, playing in leaves, climbing on the playground, laughing and living. It’s a good day!

The leaves are really changing, seemingly overnight. I love the florescent orange of the maples. There are burnt, deep reds, yellows from the Tulip Poplars, and the still green accents of the pines. God has put on display a wonderful reminder of what true beauty looks like – thank you Jesus for the show!

A solid cloudbank coats the sky, and I hope it’s not a sign of rain to come. Grant me the grace to accept whatever weather this day (and night!) holds. (This prayer became very prophetic when the clouds began dumping rain at dusk, and kept pouring most of the night!)

I’ve mentioned this in an earlier post, but I’m reminded again of how people seem friendlier when they’re camping. “Hellos” flow more easily off the tongue while conversations seem more casual and down to earth. I think folks seem to breathe easier. So my question is “why?” Is it because we are closer to God’s created order? Or is it maybe because we step back from our insane pace of life, where we’re consumed with acquiring “more” and “better” and if even for just a few days, we experience life more in rhythm with how God imagined it for us? The smiles, waves, and hellos flow naturally because we are in community (pardon the use of a word worn out these days!). We are sharing space, the outdoors and even God (knowingly or unknowingly) with one another. Certainly, days like these are gifts from a Savior who delights in presenting them to his children. Jesus, grant us the wisdom to live them fully.

AMEN.

Spring Mill State Park
Mitchell, IN
October 20, 2005

Love Wins!

A few posts ago, I mentioned that some local kids were going to respond to the needs being felt in the Gulf Coast area due to the recent hurricanes.  It's my awesome privilege to report that they've met their goal of raising $2000!

For a look into their efforts,
check out http://mitchellkatrinarelief.blogspot.com

The Trees Were Clapping

Mitch McVicker has a song on his first CD entitled “Gospel Rain.” In one of the verses of that song, Mitch sings:

And every leaf that falls is a kind of burning bush
And I can hear your call when I stop to look
You tell me you’re there whatever happens
And I hear the trees clapping their hands

The last line of that verse has been stuck in my head for over a week now. Labor Day this year was a time of rest for my family. No ball games. No lawn mower. No nagging feeling that we had to be “doing” something. Instead, we piled in the truck and made the short trip to Spring Mill State Park for a late picnic lunch. That I wasn’t screaming at everyone to “LET’S GO!” was in itself a testimony to this day, and the day just seemed to unfold right on schedule.

I took the time to read on a blanket in the shade, which quickly turned into a wonderful nap. And it was good to just “be.” I wasn’t mad at myself for “wasting time.” I didn’t kick myself for not journaling. I slept. Straight up. No guilt.

Before we ate dinner, everyone seemed to congregate on my blanket, and we talked, looked at clouds, watched a few leaves fall, and spent time together. It became more than just being in the same place together, it became an experience of oneness, truly being “together.”

As hunger began to set in (something to be feared with my family), talk turned to food. I love to grill out with charcoal, and though I don’t use it much, on this day I fired up a pile of Kingsford, in preparation of BBQ pork tenderloins. It was awesome, but we lacked one traditional picnic item – fried chicken.

Now there was a family about 30 feet from us, and they had that fried yard bird that Jacob and I craved. As that family finished eating and went on a hike to the old cemetery, we half-jokingly talked of making a daylight raid and snatching their bucket of Colonel’s Magic. Our laughing turned to talk about how people seem to trust each other a little more when they are outdoors at a park or campground. These folks walked away from 3 picnic tables full of food, dishes, and lawn chairs – the works – and probably never thought for a minute about someone taking anything. We remembered our past campouts, when we would leave coolers, lanterns, and tents – everything – at our site as we went swimming at the park lake. And it was always there when we got back. It seems that people can be good, despite what the evening news would have us believe.

So, as we’re finishing up our meal, our talk about the goodness of people grew deeper, as it was suggested that maybe it seems like people are good at parks because they are surrounded by God’s creation, and He in fact lays heavy over those places. Mitch’s song came back to me at that moment, and all I could think of was that sound that I’d been imagining I was hearing – “And I hear the trees clapping their hands!”

The rest of the week I spent a lot of time wondering about people, and how if being surrounded by God’s presence in Nature did in fact spur people on to new levels of goodness, then maybe if people were surrounded by God’s presence in and through the lives of those who are living joyfully for Him, our world could be a better place. Jesus told us that when two or more come together in his name, he would be with them. How cool is it to really consider that we, when sharing Jesus in community, can bring out goodness in people just by radiating God to them. Somehow, that sounds a lot like worship to me.

In closing, I wanted to share a passage that Mitch pointed me to, in hopes of it speaking to your heart as well:

Get out the message – God Rules!
He put the world on a firm foundation;
He treats everyone fair and square.

Let’s hear it from Sky,
With Earth joining in,
And a huge round of applause from Sea.

Let Wilderness turn cartwheels,
Animals, come dance,
Put every tree of the forest in the choir –

An extravaganza before God as he comes,
As he comes to set everything right on earth,
Set everything right, treat everyone fair.

~ Psalm 96: 10-13 (The Message)

Here’s to singing praise with the trees! May everything be made right in Him.

Peace.

Some Kids Respond

A few days ago, I posted a collection of thoughts, blogs, and links to all kinds of information dealing with Hurricane Katrina. As a part of that post, I mentioned that my son and other local kids wanted to help out. If you're interested in reading more about their efforts, and helping them out with their project, here is a link: http://mitchellkatrinarelief.blogspot.com/.

Thanks in advance for checking them out!

Peace.